How to Stop Checking Your Phone So Much
Your phone is in a relationship with you, and it’s toxic.
It wakes you up. It goes to bed with you. It interrupts your dinner, your conversations, your showers (don’t lie). It demands your attention with little red numbers that say “LOVE ME.” You give it more eye contact than your partner, your kids, your dog.
If a person behaved like your phone, you’d have a restraining order.
But here you are. Checking it 96 times a day. Feeling the phantom buzz in your pocket when nothing happened. Unlocking it, looking at nothing, locking it again, then unlocking it because what if something changed in the last four seconds?
We’re in too deep. Both of us. Let’s talk about it.
”I’m Just Checking The Time”
“I’m just checking the time,” you say, unlocking your phone.
You do not check the time.
You see a notification. Just one. You’ll only look at that one. Fifteen minutes later, you emerge from Instagram with no earthly idea what time it is. You check your phone again. To check the time. This time you’ll definitely just check the time.
You do not check the time.
This is the sacred ritual of the Phone Addict. The little lie we tell ourselves to justify the unlock. “Just checking the time” is the “I’m only having one drink” of screen addiction. Nobody believes it. Not you, not the phone, not the disappointed part of your brain that remembers what focus felt like.
You could buy a watch. A watch tells you the time. That’s literally all it does. No notifications. No algorithm. No rabbit hole.
But who buys watches anymore? That’s what phones are for.
You Were Meant to Be Tony Stark
The phone was meant to make you feel like Tony Stark. Instant information. The world at your fingertips. A supercomputer in your pocket. You’d be smarter, faster, more connected. The future was here and it fit in your jeans.
Instead, you’re closer to Gollum.
“My precious,” you whisper at 2am, face illuminated by the screen, watching a stranger’s holiday photos. You haven’t blinked in two minutes. Your thumb scrolls automatically now, independent of conscious thought. It knows what you want before you do. You don’t want anything. You’re just scrolling. The scroll is the point.
The phone has become the One Ring. It promises power. It delivers enslavement. You know this. You recognise the signs. And yet…
Just one more scroll.
Somewhere, Tony Stark is disappointed in all of us.
Why You Can’t Stop (The Boring Science)
Here’s the bit where I’m supposed to explain dopamine. You’ve heard it before. Short version: your brain releases a little reward chemical when something might be interesting. Not when it is interesting — when it might be.
That’s the trick. Every notification, every refresh, every scroll is a tiny lottery ticket. Mostly nothing. But maybe something. Your brain is playing the pokies every time you touch your phone.
The apps know this. They’re designed by people whose job title is literally “attention engineer.” Their success is measured by how much of your life they can extract. If this sounds dramatic, look up the phrase “brain hijacking.” It’s not a conspiracy theory. It’s a business model.
This isn’t about willpower. It’s about a billion-dollar industry that specifically engineers products to defeat your willpower. You’re not weak. You’re outgunned.
What Actually Works
Okay, practical bit. Skip here if you just want the advice.
1. Make Your Phone Ugly
Turn on grayscale mode. Seriously. The vibrant colours are part of the appeal. A grey Instagram is significantly less compelling. Your phone transforms from a slot machine to a boring tool.
Settings → Accessibility → Display → Colour Filters → Grayscale
Try it for a week. You’ll be annoyed. That’s the point.
2. Move the Apps
Put social media apps in a folder on the second screen. Remove them from your home screen entirely. Every small friction helps.
Better yet: delete them. Use the browser versions. They’re worse on purpose. Worse is good when you’re trying to use something less.
3. Charge It Somewhere Else
Your phone doesn’t need to be on your bedside table. Charge it in the kitchen. Buy an alarm clock (yes, those still exist). The first and last thing you see each day doesn’t need to be a screen.
4. The Lockbox Solution
If you have zero self-control (relatable), there are literal boxes that lock your phone for a set time. You can’t override them. The temptation is removed entirely by removing access entirely. Extreme? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely.
5. Scheduled Do Not Disturb
Set a schedule. 9pm to 8am, nothing gets through except phone calls. If someone needs you urgently, they’ll call. If they don’t call, it wasn’t urgent. You’ll survive missing a WhatsApp for 11 hours.
Alternatives That Sometimes Work Better
- If grayscale is too drastic — Start with just removing the red notification badges. The red dots are designed to create anxiety.
- If deleting apps won’t stick — Set app time limits instead. Your phone will shame you when you hit 30 minutes of TikTok. You can ignore it, but you’ll feel watched.
- If you need your phone for work — Create a separate “Focus” mode that hides everything except work apps. Switch profiles when you leave the office.
- If nothing’s working — Consider a dumbphone for weekends. Yes, they still exist. Yes, people survive.
Products That Help (Or Become Elaborate Justifications to Buy Things)
Affiliate disclosure: I might earn a commission if you buy these. But honestly, the best solution is free — it’s just harder. Here are some tools anyway.
Lock Your Phone In A Box
The Kitchen Safe time-lock container. Put your phone in. Set the timer. It literally won’t open until time’s up. No willpower required — physics handles it.
Mindsight Timed Lock Box
Get a Watch That Just Tells Time
The Casio F-91W. Costs less than a fancy coffee. Tells the time. Does nothing else. Millennials are buying these ironically. Maybe you should buy one seriously.
CASIO F91W-1 Casual Sport Watch
Read the Books That Explain Why This Is So Hard
Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism is specifically about intentional technology use. It’ll make you feel called out but also give you a framework.
Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World
A Closing Confession
I wrote this article with my phone in another room.
It took me three attempts. The first two times, I brought the phone back “just to check one thing.” You know how that ends.
The third time, I put it in the kitchen, closed the door, and sat with the uncomfortable silence of not having a glowing rectangle nearby. The first ten minutes were awful. Then it was fine. Then it was actually kind of nice to hear my own thoughts without interruption.
I don’t have this solved. Nobody does. But I’m trying. And if you’ve read this far, so are you.
Now put the phone down. I’m serious.
(Unless you’re reading this on a computer. In which case, where’s your phone? Go check. Bring it back. Put it in another room. I’ll wait.)
Somewhere, in a dark room lit only by phone glow, there’s a version of you who scrolled past the advice and went straight back to Instagram. That’s not you anymore. Right?
